My Advice for Single Female Immigrants

Most women immigrate to join family in the US, Canada or the UK. But I did things a little differently. I applied for permanent residency in Australia, was successful and moved over there without a job or any contacts.

It’s been five years and I’m now an Australian citizen. Along the way, I have met single women from other countries, who made the same daring decision. We all agree that it’s been a blend of exciting and tumultuous experiences. As a single woman, uprooting from the known to the unknown is not a choice for the faint of heart. It’s a treacherous path that requires courage, persistence and faith. I wish that before I embarked on my journey, a woman who had walked this path had taken me aside, and offered me some words of advice. I wonder what difference that conversation would have made? If I could say “Come my dear. Sit and let’s talk,” to a young woman packing her bags to start this migration journey on her own, this is the advice I would offer.

Take a trip to the country before you decide to live there: People often ask why I chose to immigrate to Australia, when other countries were closer to Jamaica. My answer is that I had visited there a few times as a tourist and I fell in love with it. Whereas I had visited America, Canada and England, and knew that they were not for me. A visit beforehand will help create foundational familiarity.

Save Your Money: Your road to stable employment might be bumpy. It might take you a long time to find work when you arrive and as the years go on, you may have gaps of unemployment. Before you take off, make sure you have enough money to support yourself for at least three months. When you do get a job, be systematic about putting some away for a rainy day.

Explore what your new home has to offer: Finances might make you live frugally for the first few years, but remember that you made the move to improve your overall quality of life. So make allowances for doing fun new things, unique to where you are: take trips out of town for the weekend, go to music festivals, learn to surf, go for hikes ... whatever is affordable and available to you. Your life will be fuller and you may make new friends in the process.

Invest in female friendships: At home, you organically have friends from school and work. When you move, that resource is gone. A lack of a social circle can majorly mar your level of happiness. When I moved to Sydney, I missed my group of girlfriends. I solved that by creating a women’s group that met for brunch once a month. That group became a spectacular source of female friendships. Even more gratifying is that other girls in the group went on to create lifelong bonds with each other. Creating a women’s group might not be your thing, but I do suggest making the consistent effort to stay in touch with women you meet, that you connect with. Take the initiative to strengthen those relationships with a regular activity, where you both can invite other people to join in.

Be prepared to start from the bottom: I arrived in Australia with a Masters degree and years of experience in Media. But I failed to get a job in my field. Eventually, I had to take jobs doing something completely different, which hasn’t worked out for me. This is a common theme in the immigrant experience, which I write about in “What my 5 jobs in 5 years says about discrimination in Australia”. I think I would’ve fared far better if I tried for internships or entry-level positions, to get my foot in the door in my field. I suggest you be open to positions that are lower than you’re used to. It’s an investment that will pay off later on.

Adjust your mind-set to the rules and culture of that country: You are going to be functioning in markedly different environment, but you’re coming to it with the subconscious conditioning of your native culture. This may cause some hiccups. For example, Jamaica is a very informal society, you can “ask for a bly” or for a seller to “tek a little bit offa di price”. But first world countries operate on stricter rules and laws that you can’t talk your way around. Adapt to doing things their way.

Be Prepared for that “Nowhere feels like home” feeling: You enter a kind of limbo when you immigrate. Where you are doesn’t feel like home but you can’t go back home. In the process of acclimatising to your new culture, that feeling of being an outsider lingers. But when you get the opportunity to visit your homeland, you are struck with the realisation that a lot has changed. Sometimes, it too doesn’t feel like home.

Don’t feel obliged to start a business, just because it’s related to your culture: “You should teach a Dancehall class or open a Jamaican restaurant”. These are the kind of suggestions that people offer me on a regular basis. The assumption is that because I am Jamaican, I should do a Jamaican business. Yes, my country has a strong and marketable brand. But my nationality does not guarantee success in a Jamaican oriented enterprise. I whole-heartedly encourage culture-based business ventures. But ensure that it’s something you really want to do and then pursue it with a measure of business acumen.

Expect a Slow Process: When I got permanent residency and arrived in Australia, I thought I was walking into the land of milk and honey. I assumed that because I now had work rights for a first world country, success would be fast and sweet. When expectation clashed with reality, I was hit with waves of self-doubt and confusion. Roadblocks to find suitable work, accommodation and financial stability not only rocked my self-confidence, but placed a cloud of uncertainty around my vision of life in Australia. Because I didn’t appreciate that it was a process that took time, I was really hard on myself when things didn’t work out.

Life has gradually gotten better over time. I moved from Canberra to Sydney, found a solid group of friends, invested in a new car and rented a nice apartment. Although it all happened incrementally, at a much slower pace than I ever imagined. What I now appreciate is that, creating a new life is like building a sand castle, one grain of sand at time.

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