#IAMEXCEPTIONAL AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GETTING FROM NOW ON

Men seem to have the self confidence thing down to an art form, but women.... We struggle a little bit.

I know because when I brag - it's women who tell me to be quiet. While men are over there in the corner, patting each other on the back.

I know because women get passed over for promotions because they can't sell themselves.

I know because my girlfriends and I are still exchanging stories about men we date who treat us as dispensable.

Looking back on my life I've noticed a pattern, the quality of the outcomes I've experienced in work and relationships, mirrored how I felt about myself and what I thought I deserved. The result of that programming is not cute: jobs that went nowhere and men that perform a disappearing act better than Cirque du Soleil.

But I am the common denominator, so I am taking responsibility.

Exciting stuff, because that means I get to change it. Here's my plan and I'm inviting every woman who is sick and tired of getting only slight improvements on mediocrity to do the same:

Step 1: Grab a glass of wine and a notebook. Wrap up in your favourite blanket and get yourself comfy. Let the truth serum do its magic and get ready to be real with yourself. Make a list of things in your life (past and present) that you're angry about and have had enough of:

Friends that keep borrowing money from you

Bosses that won't give you a raise or a promotion

Guys that disappear after the second date

You know what I'm talking about...

Step 2: By now your stomach should be in knots and you feel like you wanna punch something! That's good! Anger propels change.

Grab a second glass of wine.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath.

Now be honest with yourself.

Beside each of those events, ask yourself how did you facilitate or co-create each one of those experiences?

Did you not have the confidence to state your boundaries?

Are you afraid to have that conversation?

Are your standards too low?

Deep down do you feel that's the salary you do deserve?

Behind those experiences are core beliefs that shape your automatic responses.

This program doesn't require you to go all Dr. Phil on yourself and dredge up your daddy issues. I am inviting you to do is simply observe your own patterns. It is a scientific fact that phenomena changes under observation. If you practice doing that, from now on you will start noticing when you're making those lower rung choices.

Step 3: Forgive yourself for the stuff that came up in Steps 1 and 2. Breathe. Mediate for 10 minutes and get a good night's rest.

All behaviours stem from belief. We accept what we think we deserve.

It's people stopping, taking a look at what's been happening and deciding that they are worth more that's led to: the end of slavery, women being allowed to vote, women being allowed to compete in the Olympics and every major civil rights victory. It's time you start a movement of your own:

Stop accepting slight improvements on what you had before.

Know that the main thing standing between you and what you want, is believing that you are worth it because you are wonderful.

Step 4: Emancipate YourSelf From Mental Slavery - Reprogram Your Mind. Start the 21 Day #IAMEXCEPTIONAL program.

Life attracts Like is a universal law. If you change the energy you exhibit, you will attract different phenomena.

Start noticing all the ways you are an exceptionally and wonderfully made.

What are the things you do that set you apart / that you are proud of? Notice them and let them populate your mirror.

Each day for 21 days document one thing that you do that demonstrates that you are exceptional:

You helped a friend

You finished something you said you would do

You completed a project or assignment beyond expectations

You worked out 5 days this week

You make a mean chocolate cake

You did something interesting!

Post on your Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Share with friends who know might be navigating the same waters and encourage them to join you.

The more you practice seeing yourself as exceptional, the more you will expect exceptional opportunities and relationships.

Your bar of personal standards will be raised.

Your tolerance level for sub-standard will diminish.

You are the observer. Life will bend to your observation.

Step 5: Keep a Journal during the challenge, note the insights that come up for you, how uncomfortable you feel. What new awareness on the past and a sense of possibility around the future are taking root?

Step 6: When you've completely the 21 Days. Celebrate!! With another cheeky glass of wine and doing something that intrinsically makes you feel happy.

Keep in touch. Share your stories. Let me know how you go.

#singlewoman #womenofcolour #women #personaldevelopment #21DaysofExceptional #raisingthebar