"Why I took a Vow of Celibacy" article

The text below is from an article published by the Manly Daily newspaper on October 13th, 2017. To see the original article, click here: http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/newslocal/manly-daily/after-years-of-failed-dates-lisaann-robinson-said-no-to-sex-for-a-year/news-story/3e1e6b5c1730a21645ee21ea66fc6a2b

After years of failed dates, Lisa-Ann Robinson said no to sex for a year.

Now the Sydney woman, 36, is marking a year without sex - and said she won't sleep with a man until they get married.

The writer, who is originally from Jamaica but emigrated to Australia six years ago, said she's tried 'everything" to meet a long-term partner, and while she wasn't Samantha from Sex and the City, found she was sleeping with men early into a relationship - and it never worked out.

I first moved to Canberra and did a lot of speed dating, I've been on all the major dating apps, and in bars," she said.

"They all just fall flat on their face."

"As a woman who's looking for a relationship, you meet a man who might not be. But plays for it - men are hunters."

"As a woman you go into the arena with the intention for a relationship, but the man's intentions are not the same.

"I was always in that unfortunate dance of thinking I was engaging in an activity that would draw him closer, but he wasn't on the same page."

"If there was a guy that I liked and thought there was future potential, I would say, "I'm going to wait there months," and then one week later I'd have done it, because they engage, it's so normal.

Ms. Robinson, who has been single for a eight years, decided to make the drastic decision.

And she's said it's stopped her going through the usual heartbreak she's face again and again after sleeping with a guy who then disappears.

"I though if I can take sex off the table, I can see if this man wants to spend time with me, for me."

"I met one guy on New Year's Eve, he was visiting from overseas and we met at a bar in the CBD," she said.

"He wanted me to come with him to Melbourne and I was accepted the invitation."

"Then I said "we will not be having sex" and he immediately withdrew it."

"I've had guys who are fine with it initially and continue to have been interested up to a point and some that tap out right away."

"Originally I was biting at the bit to have the year be over, that was early on, but you can get used to anything," she said.

"It take a lot of courage as well, to say to a man, what your boundaries are sticking to it."

Ms. Robinson, from Rose Bay, said while she didn't set out to abstain until marriage, because she vow has made her so much happier, she's decided there was no turning back.

She has even just started dating someone she met organically, which she reckons happened because of her new outlook.

Whenever I found I was lonely I would jump on Tinder," she sadi.

"I had always felt something was missing."

"Since I've completed this year there has been a dramatic magical turn about. I've put it down to the saying, "You attract what you are, not what you want," she said.

"i got to unplug from all the activity, focus on me, my spirituality and my relationship with myself."

"I feel so comfortable being single and much lighter in my energy. I think my vibration, my energy, my aura are different."

"I can't go back, so I have decided to be celibate until I'm married,"

She's kept a blog on her experience, is coaching other women on dating and celibacy, and is planning a book.

From dating trends to tales of love, horror dates to expert tips, Sarah Swain explores single life in Sydney.

The print version of the story is below:

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